Relationship Charts : Katrina

Katrina

Katrina : Aiji

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Katrina : Dallas

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Katrina : Damien

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Katrina : Dorian

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Katrina : Edward

Couple (70 RP) | "Katrina had never wanted to fall in love or get married. However, something about Edward seemed to win her over at the time they met. Although Katrina tries to keep a tough exterior for her own defense, deep down she has a soft, motherly side, which he often brings out. Her fiancée having gone through most of his life without a mother of his own, feeling unloved and generally weak, timid and sick, has made her nurturing, protective and even possessive of him. She easily snaps at others if he's in danger. Though she tries very hard for him, Katrina has a tendency to be insensitive at times too. Mostly when angry. This can cause some frightening situations for Edward, but Katrina never usually hurts him. He also relies on her a lot, and despite what others might say, they're both mutually fine with it. Katrina was used to working hard most of her life and he wasn't, so she doesn't mind doing things for him. Though she does crack down on him at times when he's being too lazy or selfish. Katrina let's a lot of things slide though, unless if it's really important. She also seems to find him more amusing than annoying, when it comes to his traits that women normally don't find attractive. (Ex. femininity, easily frightened, vain, ect.) But she knows how to get his attention when she wants it, by sugar coating things; and if that doesn't work, well she can control him out of fear, seduction or both.."

Katrina : Isabell

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Katrina : Koh

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Katrina : Kuja

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Katrina : Nijeru

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Katrina : Raef

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Katrina : Rebecca

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Katrina : Remi

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Katrina : Rhylee

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Katrina : Rubi

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Katrina : Saluna

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Katrina : Seki

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Katrina : Sherrice

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Katrina : Yin

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Katrina : Yoru

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Katrina : Yun

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Personality Readings : Katrina Johanson

• Birth on Earth
Born July 6th, 1971 on a Tuesday.
Under the astrological sign Cancer.
The moon phase was Waxing Gibbous.
- Date of Conception: October 13th±, 1519.
- Date of Birth: July 6th, 1520; Friday.
- Moon Phase: First Quarter.
- Star Birthday: 6 years old.

• Cornerstone: K
Illumination, intuition and revelation are the key words for the K, the eleventh letter in the alphabet. You are emotional and creative, with a strong drive to succeed. You can be quite forceful and are many-sided. Nervous tension, fear and hesitation are the negative aspects of this high strung and idealistic Cornerstone.

• Name Personality
You always feel the need to act, to charge, and show such ardor as pushes you to take up all challenges. You prefer to launch out for you've confidence in your energy, your drive, your daring, and if necessary, even your nerve in order to extricate yourself from a difficult situation. But on the contrary, you may not sufficiently take obstacles into account for your reflection is not always equal to your dynamism: you offhandedly neglect the necessity to examine what's tempting you before taking the plunge.

Whether it's in business or in love, you put all your energy at stake, you throw all your live forces into the battle. It's why when you meet with a failure, the blow is all the more painful. It's in this way that you can easily go from an extreme to another - from periods of intense exhilaration to moments of terrible depression, for everything is excessive and nothing is moderate with you. You'll need some time lapse to recover from your setbacks. And you'll recover, for sure, all the while preserving your unscathed enthusiasm.

Because of your spontaneous, unyielding character, and also because of your lack of a withdrawal position, your renunciation will come early and definitely. Moreover, on account of your rather rigid principles, you don't have good adaptation capacities.

You're more oriented toward the future than toward the past. Prone to make a clean sweep of all that has preceded you, you profit little by your own experiences and even less of those of others. You're mostly concerned about new prospects, deeming that innovation, dynamism, and an enterprising mind are your best allies.

You intensely live the present moment. Always reacting with spontaneity and force, you put passion in whatever you do. All situation, all sentiment are lived with maximum tension. Thus you experience moments of overexcitement or despondency, of frenzy or despair which better balanced natures cannot even imagine. The vehemence of your sentiments explains your tendency to fits of anger that can sometimes be exaggerated and make you appear as a brutal and excessive person.

- Your name says: You are very unpredictable in nature. You do not share your views easily with anyone. Though you are full of passion and love yet you do not communicate well with others. Reason being that you are shy and afraid to be rebuked by others. If the same happens, then that sensitive and delicate constitution of yours is deeply hurt. Thus, you are rather uptight and secretive in many matters.

• Personality Profile

- Vitality: Sun in Cancer.
You're impressionable and sympathetic to others and able to listen patiently, but when your own feelings have been hurt, you can be very moody and irritable. You tend to protect your sensitive feelings and emotions behind a hard exterior shell, just like the crab. Your family and roots are important to you, but you need to develop your own individuality. You'll have a strong parental instinct and will be protective and supportive to your children. If you have no children, this will probably be expressed in some other area of your life.

- Habits: Moon in Sagittarius.
You're instinctively restless and you have difficulty in settling down and staying in one place for too long. You enjoy exploring new horizons, or are constantly on the move, even if it is only from one home to another. Your emotions can be fiery and when necessary, you'll defend yourself by reacting with anger. If your sense of security is threatened or your self-image challenged you may respond with exaggeration. You'll also have a high degree of independence and love of freedom, but will occasionally need to control a tendency to be offhand.

- Self-Identity: Rising Sign in Libra.
Possessing an easy-going charm, you enjoy being surrounded by friends and co-operating with others. You go out of your way to avoid conflicts and you usually get what you want from life as others appreciate that you're willing to give as much as you receive. Possessing an innate sense of beauty, style and grace, money will be spent freely.

- Mentality: Mercury in Leo.
Your lively and creative mind is able to express thoughts in a dramatic way. Once your mind is made up on some issue you'll then defend your position in the same dramatic way. As you're generally sure of what you think and believe, you're not generally given to self-doubts and questioning. Whilst this can be a positive trait, if taken to extremes you can occasionally seem overly fixed in your opinions.

- Capacity for Love: Venus in Gemini.
You thrive on change and variety in your social life. In any relationship, you'll need space to do your own thing and to go where you want when you want. You'll therefore quickly break free from any relationship that you feel is limiting your freedom. It's not that you're unable to love it's just that you're never quite sure whether what you feel today is what you'll be feeling tomorrow. Lovers will also have to satisfy your intellectual needs as well your physical needs.

- Driving Force: Mars in Aquarius.
You possess a tremendous amount of determination to achieve your goals. There's a great need for personal freedom, which can occasionally lead to unpredictable conduct. You're prepared to defend your thoughts and opinions with great force and regard criticism of your opinions as a personal attack. This will probably lead to conflict until you either stop taking yourself so seriously or learn to respect the opinions of others. Your attitude toward sex is probably unconventional and detached with a need for a great deal of freedom in your relationships.

• Only Child
Only children are often referred to as "First Borns in Triplicate", this is due to the fact that these children are extreme versions of first born children. Onlies, as they are affectionately called, tend to be an extrememist in all aspects of life.

-Traits-
Mature faster.
Get along well with older people.
Responsible.
Self-Centered.
Perfectionists.
Attention seekers.
Use adult language.
Prefer adult company.
Have difficulty sharing.

Only children are special type of birth order, in the sense that they are capable of being any of the three "main" types of birth order. However, most of these only children do possess characteristics commonly associated with the aggressive first born child.

• Life Path: 3
You possess a great talent for creativity and self-expression. Many writers, poets, actors and musicians are born under the 3 Life Path. You are witty, possess a gift for gab, and savor the limelight. Your talent for the expressive arts is so abundant that you may well have felt drawn to becoming an artist while still very young. Your artistic abilities can only be developed, however, through discipline and commitment to the true development of your talent. Commitment, concentration and hard work are the only means of bringing forth your talent. Thanks to your gift for self expression, you can be the life of the party, and the center of attention. However, you could easily squander your talent by becoming a social butterfly. Your creativity is the gift that can give you the comfort and luxury you desire, but not without continual focus and discipline.
You are optimistic and possess the resilience to overcome many setbacks. You are socially active, popular, and inspire people with your sunny "happy go lucky" attitude. You can be generous to a fault. Many people born under the 3 Life Path have difficulty handling money because they can be disorganized and not particularly serious about their responsibilities. You are emotional and vulnerable. When hurt, you withdraw into a cloud of silence, eventually emerging from your reticence with jokes and laughter that cover up your true feelings. You can become moody and cynical when depressed. You can succumb to sarcastic remarks, which can be painful to those around you. When used positively, your talent for self expression can be a great inspiration force in the world, uplifting others, and bringing much success and happiness to you.

• Katrina Johanson
There are 15 letters in your name.
Those 15 letters total to 62.
There are 6 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

- Your Number is: 8
Practical endeavors, status oriented, power-seeking, high-material goals.

- Expression or Destiny:
Your Expression is represented by the number 8. The 8 Expression is well-equipped in a managerial sense. You have outstanding organizational and administrative capabilities. You have the potential for considerable achievement in business or other powerful positions. You can expect to receive the financial and material rewards. You have the skill and abilities to establish or operate a business with great efficiency. You have good judgment when it comes to money and commercial matters, and you understand how to build and accumulate material wealth. Much of your success (or lack of it) may come due to your ability (or inability) to judge character. With the number 8 Expression, you exercise sound judgment in most of your affairs; you are realistic and practical in your approach to business matters.

The positive 8 Expression produces individuals that are very ambitious and goal-oriented. If the 8 energy is not in excess in your makeup, you will no doubt express these traits to some extent. No one has any more energy that a person with the 8 Expression who has a plan laid and is starting to work. No one has any more self-confidence, either. If you are expressing the positive qualities of 8, you are an outstanding manager because you can plan, initiate, and complete projects; you are very dependable and determined.

As it always happens, there can be too much of a good thing. If you have too much of the 8 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes. A negative 8 can be very rigid and stubborn. Ambition sometimes has a way of becoming over-ambition, and you may express an unreasonable impatience with the lack of progress. If your negative side is showing, you may be too exacting, both of yourself and of others. Sometimes this can even becomes a case of intolerance.

The number 8 is very materialistic and also very desirous of status and power. Neither of these drives are inherently negative unless they are taken to an extreme. You must avoid the tendency to strain after money, material matters, status, or power, to the detriment of the other important factors in your life.

- Expression Number: 8
You have the power and potential to achieve great things. It is both your challenge and your birthright to gain dominion over a small part of the earth. Whatever your enterprise, you strive to be the best and most successful in your field. You are highly competitive and will not rest until you are satisfied that you have bypassed the opposition. You enjoy challenges and rivalry. You are a realist and a visionary planner. Money and authority are available to you if you are willing to discipline yourself - generally an inborn talent - and persevere in the face of the considerable obstacles in your path. You are dynamic and have a talent for efficiency. You understand the larger picture, see the broader challenges, and know how to marshal your collective resources to address the problems. You delegate responsibility well; it is best for you to leave many of the details to others. You are a great leader of people and an outstanding judge of character. You are demanding of those who work for you, often putting things in no uncertain terms: do it my way or don't do it at all! At the same time, you don't hesitate to reward the faithful and hardworking employee. You are not a particularly tolerant leader; too much tolerance violates your sense of efficiency. You go directly after your goal with courage and tenacity. You have a natural understanding of money, authority, and power. You are able to struggle consistently after your goal. Eventually power falls to you. Within you lies an innate balance between the higher and lower characteristics of man. Your challenge in life is to balance your higher ideals and your understanding of the hard realities of the earth. Much effort will have to be put out and many ups and downs experienced before you reach the level of success you desire. Life will probably test you many times with obstacles that seem insurmountable. But in reality, these are merely opportunities for you to learn how to use power and authority in the face of difficulties, and to find out just how much power lies within you. It is crucial for your success that you balance the material and the spiritual. You have chosen a path that requires balance between giving and taking, reward and punishment, action and reaction. Despite the obstacles on your path, you are a true survivor. When focused exclusively on your desire for results and success, you can become stubborn and intolerant; you can be driven by excessive ambition, causing you to be exacting and without perspective. Be careful of your alcohol consumption, a danger-zone for you. You can be a social drinker, mixing business with pleasure - a dangerous cocktail. An excellent manager, organizer and administrator you have talents in many areas of life. Entrepreneurs, executives, bankers, brokers, negotiators, gamblers, coaches, collectors, heads of institutions, builders, art dealers, manufacturers, promoters, military officers, police detectives, smugglers, engineers, pilots or sea captains. You have been entrusted with special gifts, the use or abuse of which has an immediate and often physical effect upon you and those around you! Use these gifts for the good of mankind and accept your own good fortune with gratitude. This is your rewarding stage in your evolution. Yours is a life time of harvest.

- Inner Dream Number: 11
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.

- Soul Urge Number: 6
With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.

The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.

If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.

- Heart's Desire Number: 6
Your attention is directed to helping and caring for those you love. You are exceedingly domestic. You love your home and family and work hard to make both comfortable and secure. Your love for family and friends is a major source of your happiness and sometimes unhappiness. Your desire to help others is so strong that you often find yourself sacrificing your own personal needs for someone else's. You can overdo it, becoming too deeply involved in other people's lives. You risk interfering in personal matters and or smothering those you love in too much affection. This can be especially weakening to children, who never experience their own personal strength if an adult is too protective. You are extremely loyal and rarely let anyone down. You need to feel appreciation for your giving and caring. You want to know that you are needed. You are generous and very forgiving. You are somehow able to overlook the worst mistakes in another and find enough good in that person to continue the relationship. You are patient, warm, and sympathetic, sometimes to the point of sentimentality. You have a natural ability as a counselor and healer. You are an excellent listener, compassionate and understanding. You are able to both sympathize and empathize with a person's dilemma. Your challenge as a counselor is to be adequately educated so that you can do more than provide a sympathetic ear or shoulder. You possess a great deal of artistic talent, though you may not have a lot of confidence in your ability. Art gives you a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction. You are especially sensitive to your environment and have a knack for creating an artistic, healing, and harmonious atmosphere in your home or work space. Your deepest intention is to love those around you, and be loved in return. Six is the most loving of all numbers, especially in a one-to-one relationships. Your instincts are toward your family and friends. You envision a beautiful and harmonious life with love as the basis for all social interaction. Your love is returned manifold; people appreciate you and the love you give, and are willing to go to great lengths to keep you close at hand.

- Minor Heart's Desire Number: 11
Your short name increases your sensitivity, intuition, and perceptiveness. It inspires you to deepen your investigation of the mysteries of life. You are more attracted to religion, philosophy, and spiritual understanding. It may awaken your intuitive and even psychic abilities. At the same time, your Minor Heart's Desire number makes you more sensitive to your own shortcomings. It encourages you to work on yourself. Your increased sensitivity will encourage you to seek out harmonious and peaceful environments. This will balance the nervous tension that the 11 can stimulate. Your desire to work with others is also improved. You are likely to feel more humble and modest, and seek ways to avoid conflict and maintain harmonious relationships. Your heightened intuitive powers bring highly creative ideas, sudden insights, and realizations.

• Birth Flower: Delphinium.
Airy.

- British: Larkspur.
Levity and lightness.

- U.S: Delphinium.
Joyful; fickleness; sweet.

• Birthstone: Ruby.

« The gleaming Ruby should adorn,
All those who in July are born,
For thus they'll be exempt and free,
From lover's doubts and anxiety »

- Day: Diamond, Topaz.
- Zodiac: Emerald.
- Modern: Ruby.
- Mystical: Ruby.
- Sunburst: Ruby.
- Ayurvedic: Ruby.
- Alternative: Turquoise, Onyx, Carnelian.

• Birth Tree: Fir Tree, the Mysterious.
Extraordinary taste, dignity, cultivated airs, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to it, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious uncontent lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.

• Celtic Tree Zodiac: Oak, the Stabilizer.
Those born under the Celtic tree astrology sign of the Oak have a special gift of strength. They are protective people and often become a champion for those who do not have a voice. In other words, the Oak is the crusader and the spokesperson for the underdog. Nurturing, generous and helpful, you are a gentle giant among the Celtic zodiac signs. You exude an easy confidence and naturally assume everything will work out to a positive outcome. You have a deep respect for history and ancestry, and many people with this sign become teachers. You love to impart your knowledge of the past to others. Oak signs have a need for structure, and will often go to great lengths to gain the feeling of control in their lives. Healthy Oak signs live long, full, happy lives and enjoy large family settings and are likely to be involved with large social/community networks. Oak signs pair off well with the Ash and Reed, and are known to harmoniously join with Ivy signs too.

• Native American Zodiac: Woodpecker.
Woodpeckers are usually the most nuturing of all the Native American animal symbols. The consummate listener, totally empathic and understanding, the Woodpecker is the one to have on your side when you need support. Of course, they make wonderful parents, and equally wonderful friends and partners. Another proverbial feather in the Woodpeckers cap is the tendency to be naturally frugal, resourceful, and organized. In a nurturing environment the Woodpecker is of course caring, devoted, and very romantic. Left to his/her own devices the Woodpecker can be possessive, angry, jealous, and spiteful.

- Earth Influence: The long days time.
- Influencing Wind: The south wind.
- Totem: Mouse.
- Direction: South.
- Element: Water.
- Elemental: Frog (Water) Clan.
- Function: To merge.
- Birth & Animal Totem: Woodpecker.
- Plant Totem: Wild rose.
- Stone Totem: Rose quartz.
- Polarity Totem: Goose.
- Affinity Color: Rose.
- Musical Vibration: F Natural.
- Personality: Emotional, sensitive, protective & vulnerable.
- Feelings: Maternal/Paternal, romantic.
- Intention: Devotion.
- Nature: Exacting.
- Positive Traits: Imaginative, tender, thrifty & sympathetic.
- Negative Traits: Possessive, moody and unforgiving.
- Sex Drive: Needful.
- Compatibility: Snake, Wolf, Beaver.
- Conscious Aim: Emotional unfoldment.
- Subconscious Desire: Timeliness.
- Life Path: Assimilation.
- Spiritual Alchemy: Yin predominates.
- Should Cultivate: Intuitiveness, resourcefulness, forgiveness.
- Should Avoid: Self-pity, envy, possessiveness.

• Chinese Zodiac: Year of the Pig.
- Metal-Tiger [xin hai] · 27/01/1971 - 14/02/1972
People born in the Year of the Pig are chivalrous and gallant. Whatever they do, they do with all their strength. For Boar Year people, there is no left or right and there is no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude and great honesty. They don't make many friends but they make them for life, and anyone having a Boar Year friend is fortunate for they are extremely loyal. They don't talk much but have a great thirst for knowledge. They study a great deal and are generally well informed. Boar people are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarreling. They are kind to their loved ones. No matter how bad problems seem to be, Boar people try to work them out, honestly if sometimes impulsively. They are most compatible with Rabbits and Sheep.

- Personality: If you happen to meet a noble, upright, courteous, trustworthy and sincere person you should know that you've met a Pig. Though taciturn and erudite a Pig can be very gullible. She can be talked into doing anything for others... and she'll be serving others happily. She has not learnt how to say NO. If you're looking for a faithful, caring and loving friend you must befriend a Pig. However Pigs can even be snooty at times and they have enormous pride in their excellent taste and good breeding. A Pig unfortunately cannot resist food and can simply gorge on delicacies. A Pig is overwhelmed by grandeur. She has an expensive taste and loves fine things. In short the Pig has a" loving and giving " personality. Who wouldn't want to meet a Pig?

- Strengths: Friendly, extrovert, considerate, well mannered, helpful, benevolent, frank and thoughtful.
- Weaknesses: Quick tempered, intolerant, dictatorial, over ambitious, caustic and jealous.

- Compatible: Rat, Dragon, Goat, Rabbit.
- Incompatible: Snake, Tiger.

• Blood Type: B+
Generosity and Responsibility.
The Hunter or the Creative: Individualist, creative, flexible, impulsive, unconventional.
Optimistic, independent, good-hearted, sensitive, creative, careful, unpredictable, flashy and intrusive. You're a rugged individualist, who's straightforward and likes to do things your own way. Creative and flexible, you adapt easily to any situation. But your insistence on being independent can sometimes go too far and become a weakness.

• Rational Thought Number: 8
You are the visionary, and you focus on the larger picture. You ignore the details in favor of spectacular solutions. You love to blow someone's mind. You understand the balance between the rational and the irrational, and you have no problem combining the two. You have a vivid imagination and you are often surprised that other don't immediately grasp a concept that seems clear and logical to you. You have little patience when others allow fear and caution to slow down a project.

• Subconscious Self Number: 6
You like to help others, sometimes to the extent that you do not pay enough attention to your own needs. You are primarily concerned with your home and your family. Everything else comes second. You radiate love and genuine concern for others. During times of distress you turn to your family and friends. You are responsible and willing to sacrifice for others.

• Balance Number: 3
Be more lighthearted and optimistic in your approach to problems. Try to work with others toward a mutually satisfying solution. Use your considerable charm to influence the situation. You can be extremely emotional when faced with a problem. Try to control this tendency; you need a degree of objectivity. You may become too personally attached to the solution you seek, thus failing to see that the outcome can be beneficial to all concerned.

• Maturity Number: 11/2
As you mature, you will discover that you possess a growing talent for understanding and working with other people. Your ability to influence others through tact and diplomacy will grow. These talents will further you along in your career or business. You will become increasingly shrewd, and will learn the art of discrimination. Your sensitivity to the needs and desires of others improves dramatically. You will be able to evaluate their motivations with a growing clarity and uncanny accuracy. You find you can get more done by persuasion and gentle guidance than by force. You may well have to learn to assume the role as the power behind the throne. Your influence is less public, and you may not always receive the public recognition you deserve.
However, your satisfaction comes from seeing the fruition of your own ideas come about, the result of teamwork and cooperative efforts. If you already have many 2s in your chart, especially in the core numbers, you may become overly sensitive, a characteristic you will have to keep in check. If you have few 2s in your chart, the influence of your Maturity Number will greatly increase your ability to work harmoniously with other people.

• Health Number: Six
Those who are born as a number 6 need to watch out for diseases related to the lungs, heart throat, nose and head. Their love of decadence and promiscuity also makes them vulnerable to diseases of the reproduction and urinary system. They are prone to eating a lot of junk food so reigning in temptations and developing the discipline to eat well can help them avoid developing cancer.

• Planes of Expression

- Physical: 0
No Physical Plane of Expression.

- Mental: 9
Your thinking goes naturally to large scale endeavors. You are concerned about the general well-being of society, and have a long range perspective. You are highly compassionate but somewhat impersonal in your relationships with others. It takes a long time for people to get to know you intimately. At the same time, you give your energy unselfishly to worthy causes and earn the respect of people for your commitment. You are romantic and possess a touch of the dramatic. You are likely attracted to public service, or the theater, either as a benefactor, actor, or writer. You have a broad view of humanity and can deal effectively with people from all walks of life. You have little if any prejudice.

- Emotional: 6
You are highly emotional, yet you possess a rare degree of balance to which you can turn. You love family and close friends as few people are able. You worry too much and feel responsible for other peoples actions. You take justice and honesty with extreme seriousness; however, you may be too disciplined. You have artistic talent. You like to help others more than most, and are willing to sacrifice your own needs. You have an ability for teaching and healing. You need much love and can give the same in return. You are highly idealistic, and very committed once you decide upon your soul mate.

- Intuitive: 2
You have a fine intuition. You are extremely sensitive and tend to direct your thoughts to spiritual and metaphysical matters. These are the intuitive insights you attract.

• Karmic Number: 2+2+9+5= 18; 1+8= 9
Number 9s can correct their karma by displaying more faith in the concept that the universe is a benevolent, rather than a cruel place. Detaching from their emotions and consistently displaying an upbeat and positive attitude usually brings them great rewards. Your biggest fear is that others will never trust you or viceversa. Others' first impression of you might be of a person that is desperately seeking approval or as passive aggressive.

• Karmic Reading: 14
This combination brings a major turning point in consciousness. It is one of regeneration and growth through much tribulation and rearrangement of character. You have resisted learning from past life experiences and have a difficult time growing out of the illusion and enticement of the senses. You are ambitious but are clever about the political approach you use to gain prominence. Your subconscious karmic pattern is to seek freedom, intrigue, and personal kicks. Your present desire is to fit into social conventions and expectations. This leaves you with a very formal, but outgoing, manner which constantly has to monitor the surging quest for freedom and indulgence.

You must learn to accept past mistakes and move on to new experiences. No amount of mental or emotional reexamination can alter the past; however, you need to review it long enough to discover and eliminate the underlying cause for self-inflicted errors. You seem constantly to fluctuate between desire for complete freedom and the need for security. This constant strain can disrupt you health if you are not careful. You are curious about life and hate to miss any experience.

The possibility of success in career and business is quite high. You would do best to work with people because of your extensive interests and adaptability. You are ambitious; however there is a likelihood that you will change goals, just before you reach success. If things get out of hand, your aspirations may cause you to become involved in underhanded or dubious circumstances. This combination indicates the probability that you may earn a great deal of money. It could just as easily be lost, unless you purposely concentrate on financial planning.

Your exuberance and vitality make you a popular and sought after friend and social acquaintance. You do not like to be tied down and move confidently among people from diverse backgrounds and social standing. Your peppy style brings cheer to others. On the other hand, you can be inconsiderate and hurt others, unknowingly perhaps, by your actions and impulsive statements. You are not so much malicious, it’s just you’re insensitive to undercurrents and must guard your tongue to prevent tactless and revealing slips of speech.

You constantly search for the essence of love. This keeps you flitting from one romance to another, seeking that nebulous happiness. You can confuse sex and love and get yourself into ambiguous situations regarding your affections, loving more than one person at a time - one near, and one alluringly distant. You disdain the thought of public attention being given to your personal love affairs. Happiness in love and marriage will be elusive, so you do well playing the field. Keep it that way until you are certain a partner is totally right for you. Only time is a proof.

• Karmic Lessons: Three, Four, Seven

-Three-
You are highly self-critical. Every time you find yourself at the center of attention, you manage to find something in your performance to be entirely inadequate or embarrassing. You have established an impossible standard of perfection as the only measure of your actions. You need to lighten up on yourself. Realize that you have within you a critical faculty that must be contained and controlled. Otherwise, it can prevent you from doing what you truly enjoy in life. You're too serious. Be more optimistic and cheerful, enjoy life as it was meant to be and share this joy with others. Life will put you in situations that require imagination and communication. You will be tested in these areas. You will be forced to face the challenge. Missing threes will often produce artists but their success requires much work and perseverance.

-Four-
You feel confusion about your life's direction. You will have to establish a methodical and disciplined approach. You need to create a foundation for your life. Otherwise, you will feel lost and tossed about by change. You have trouble finding the work you do best. You tend to be somewhat impractical and disorganized. You look for the answers to life's problems outside yourself, rather than within. New jobs start off as The Answer, but do not have the same glamor for long. You quickly discover that the new work requires the same effort and perseverance, without the excitement you expected, which may cause you to give up too soon. Concentration and application need to be strengthened.

-Seven-
You need to deepen your knowledge and talents in a specific discipline. You lack the will or determination to perfect yourself or a specific talent you possess. You must learn to be your own critic, without self condemnation, in order to bring your abilities to their full development. You will learn not to take things at face value. A superficial understanding of important matters will prevent you from experiencing the satisfaction of your true potential.

• Hidden Passion: 1
You have a strong drive to stand out. You have a great ambition and desire to accomplish. You are highly competitive and want to be the best and the first in everything you do. You are highly energetic and creative. You are capable of influencing and even dominating others. You have highly developed political skills, and can succumb to manipulation unless your ideals are high. Ironically, there are times when you lack confidence, especially at an earlier age, but you have the strength to overcome this obstacle. You are a survivor, a warrior, a leader. Many great athletes and politicians have this number as a Hidden Passion.

• Number Symbolism: Six
Venus -Tolerant, Dependable, Sincere-
The symbolism behind number Six is legend. With Venus as its ruler, Six represents harmony, balance, sincerity, love, and truth. Six naturally reveals solutions for us in a calm, unfolding manner. We invoke the Six when we need delicate diplomacy when dealing with sensitive matters. The spiritual meaning of number Six also deals with enlightenment; specifically "lighting" our path in areas we require spiritual and mental balance. Sixes beckon us to administer compassion and consciously choose forgiveness in a situation.

• Number Personality Reading: Six
You are family-oriented and have a talent for settling disputes between people to the satisfaction of both sides. You somehow know the middle ground. Your lesson in life is to work with the whole subject of balance. You must come to truly understand the ancient and fundamental principle of opposites that seek harmony. Whether the realm is the emotions, caring for others, finances, work, or play, you must learn where you can be of service, exactly what you can
do, and what are your limits. You have a considerable amount of artistic talent. You have a deep appreciation of beauty and art. You are highly responsible and will do without in order to fulfill a debt. Your focus is on relationships. You want to help others, and have a talent as a healer and could make a profession of the healing arts, either as a nutritionist, alternative health therapist (Acupuncture, massage, for example) or doctor. You need to know you are appreciated. You are given to flattery and vulnerable to praise. Criticism, on the other hand, leaves a very damaging impression on you. You take it deeply to heart. You will sacrifice your own comfort to support and help others. You are generous, kind, and understanding. You can be highly emotional and given to extremes in sympathy and sentimentality. You must learn to provide more than merely a shoulder to cry on. Study and the development of your healing skills brings you great rewards in life.

- Life:
You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people find you nosy. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others. Your imagination is extremely unique.

- Love:
Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship. Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness to your couple.

• Birth day Number: Six
- Positive Traits: Kind, generous, honest, trustworthy, responsible.
- Negative Traits: Manipulative, a gossip, presumptive, codependency, controlling.

• Personality Number: 11/2
You have worked hard to gain confidence and overcome, at least to some extend, an in-born shyness. As a child, and into your early twenties, nervous energy may have caused you to bite your nails or express your nervousness in other ways. You are extremely sensitive and intuitive. You are vulnerable and you need to be more careful than most people when you choose friends.
You seem an easy prey to predatory individuals. You will probably find yourself the victim of a con man or con woman more than once in your life. In the eyes of most people, you are perceived as gentle; a safe harbor. People are drawn to you because, among other reasons, you radiate warmth and you are unthreatening. Your dress is neat and clean. Your clothing should be comfortable, soft, and flowing. You should avoid plain and understated clothes. Make an effort to be a little more daring and exciting in your appearance. This will balance nicely with your perceptive and open personality. The opposite sex is attracted to your gentle and attentive nature, yet senses the passion beneath your surface. You have sex appeal. Exercise is important to your appearance and to promote a level of strength you radiate. You are very patient and understanding, and a wonderful listener. You make others feel important and loved. You are sensitive and become tense in a disharmonious atmosphere. You have experienced quite a bit of negative criticism as a child, which made you shy growing up. Though you may be well past that shyness, a bit of the vulnerability has remained with you and is often sensed by others. You are a peacemaker. Arguments leave you drained. People sense your desire for harmony. But you must avoid being the blank tablet for others' projections. People may underestimate your strength, but this is a mistake. You are strong. You bend, but don't break. You have a fine sense of beauty and excellent taste. There is a grace in your movements, reflecting your keen sense of harmony and refinement.

• Challenges

- The First Challenge: 1
You must learn to be independent. You will be forced to stand up for yourself and your rights. You will be faced with situations in which you will have to choose between standing up for what you think is right versus giving in to another person's demands. You will have to struggle to strengthen and know your own will power. You will have to learn to be firm and trust your judgment. Don't run with the crowd, be an individual. This whole lesson represents the frontiers of your consciousness. Therefore, you will have to experience much trial and error, sometimes exploding with bursts of aggression, other times being intimidated and letting frustration and anger build within you until you are ready to act on your deepest instincts. You will learn your own set of values; you will develop into an individual with original and innovative ideas. If you have 1s in your core numbers or in your Hidden Passion this challenge will not be as difficult to learn, nor as strongly felt.

- The Second Challenge: 2
You are overly sensitive and too aware of other peoples' expectations. You suppress yourself to avoid feeling conspicuous. You can be overwhelmed by self-consciousness. You fear gossip about you. As a result, you become inhibited. All of this results in a suppression of your own individuality and uniqueness. You yearn to blend into the crowd. You let your own feelings and emotions play too big a role. Your hypersensitivity causes fear, timidity and lack of self-confidence. And you experience unnecessary fear and emotional turmoil. Little things seem disproportionately difficult to overcome and sometimes have a paralyzing effect. Jealousy can cause much pain and misunderstanding. These negative aspects of the challenge actually spring in part from positive characteristics you possess, especially your acute awareness and intuition.
You are an antennae for other peoples feelings; you know before a word is spoken how they feel.
You lack the inner strength to maintain your own center, and try to conform to the prevailing emotional atmosphere. This challenge makes you understanding and compassionate; you have an enormous empathy for the inner turmoil of others and can do much good for people with emotional problems.

- The Third Challenge: 1
Same as First Challenge.

- The Fourth Challenge: 1
Same as First Challenge.

• Cancer

- Basic Trait: "I feel".
- Strengths: Adaptable, loyal, moody, attached to family, empathetic.
- Weaknesses: Moody, sensitive, emotional, may be indecisive at times.

- Symbol: The Crab.
- Element: Water.
- Modality: Cardinal.
- Lucky Day: Monday.
- Day of the Week: Monday.
- Lucky Numbers: 2, 7.
- Lucky Gems: Opal, Pearl and Moonstone.
- Lucky Flowers: Daisies and Wallflowers.
- Flower/Herb: Poppy, Water Lily, White Rose, Moonwort.
- Stone: Crystal, Emerald, Cat's Eye, Pearl, Moonstone.
- Ruling Planets: Moon.
- Opposition Sign: Capricorn.
- Opposition Number: 8.

- Keywords: Mother, home, sensitivity, nurturance, protectiveness.
- Part of Body: Unknown.

- Positive Traits: Protective, imaginative, caring, intuitive, nostalgic.
- Negative Traits: Touchy, possessive, devious, manipulative, tenacious.

- Metal: Silver.
- Lucky Color: Blue, Green, Silver, Silver-Gray, Cream, White.
- Color: Silver is Cancer’s colour. It indicates reflection or illumination, much in the way that Cancers' absorb and reflect the subtle vibrations from those around them.
The inconstant Moon rules Cancer.

Cancer is a cardinal water sign ruled by the Moon. Cancer is the most sensitive sign of the zodiac. They are psychic, empathic, and extremely sentimental. With a strong attachment to family, ancestry and tradition, there is a strong need for roots. Cancers need a place to come home to. Known as the nest builder of the zodiac. Affected by the changing Moon, this can cause Cancers to be extremely moody. Being at the mercy of their moods makes it difficult for them to differentiate what they feel from what they think. Can be sympathy seekers. The emblem for Cancer is the Crab, a creature with a very hard shell which protects a soft interior. The crab walks sideways, which is how the Cancerian skirts around a problem until forced to take it on with gritty determination and a creative flair. The crab's large claws hang on to its possessions for dear life, just as the Cancerian collects things to beautify the environment and bravely defends the home turf.

Cancerians get things done through the power of their emotional commitment. Not only do they aggressively work to accomplish the goals inspired by their own feelings, they also know how to appeal to the emotions of others. By making other people feel like family members, Cancerians effectively motivate others to get things done. They have to learn how to reach an emotional balance since they tend to be overly sensitive and moody. Cancer is also good with money and generally takes a long-term view. The main thing to remember is not to let the powerful, turbulent emotions of the moment crowd out your normally rational judgement. Your intuitions are reliable and should be trusted; you may even have natural psychic powers, which may be developed, given the right circumstances.

Cancer zodiac sign has the symbol of 'The Crab'. One of the basic characteristics of a Cancerian is that he is very prone to mood swings, which are matched by changing emotions. At one point of time, you may have seen him in a typical party mood, enjoying himself and laughing at other people's jokes. He may come across as the most extroverted member in the entire group. However, another time, he may be completely introverted, sitting in a corner and lost in his own world. This single personality trait can help you in identifying a Cancer very easily.

A Cancerian will never run behind fame and publicity, but if he ever gets it, he definitely knows how to bask in the limelight. In a melancholic mood, he can become the coldest person on this earth and drown you in his bottomless depression. Cancerians are prone to pessimism and usually hide their fears behind a veil of humor. They love to dream and for them, sky's the limit. When he cries, it is because he is deeply hurt from inside. A harsh glance or a rough tone can easily break Cancer's vulnerable heart.

When he is hurt, he will either cry his heart out or retreat into a silent spell. However, it is rare that he takes revenge from the one who has hurt him. If a Cancer retreats to his shell, you can be sure he will become completely unreachable. He won't pick his phone, answer the doorbell or even check his mail. Another mood that can engulf a Cancer is a snappy one, or you can say a crabby one. He will hate the world and snap at anything and everything. However, you can be sure he is not angry with you and will soon be his normal self again.

While in a conversation, the facial features of a crab will change a number of times, displaying his numerous moods. He has a vivid imagination and at times will drown you in his moods too. Each and every experience affects him and gets engraved in his memory. Cancerians remember everything life has taught them and are true patriots. Past intrigues them and they love to collect antiques, old treasures and ancient relics. They are the perfect keepers of secrets and people automatically confide in them.

However, their own thoughts and secrets are strictly off limits for everyone. A typical cancer will never discuss his personal life with anyone. Compassion and intuition gel perfectly with the Cancer profile. He seldom judges people, just soaks up what comes his way and reflects the same. He will never ever give up an object he cherishes, be it a gift from a lover or the worn jeans he loves wearing. Cancerians have a soft heart; they care about people and are quite helpful. However, they wait to see if someone else is helping.

If the answer is yes, they will sit back and let the other person be the savior. In case no one comes forward; they will be there to rescue you. A Cancer person may come at the last minute, but he will save you just before you are about to drown. He is not selfish, it just that he never wants to be impulsive. But, he will save you nonetheless. Before he makes any move, a Cancerian must be sure of strong backing. Without it, he hates to venture on his own. He does not forget mistakes easily, especially his own.

He will brood over them and take a long time before moving ahead again. Cancerian loves, rather reveres, his home and his loved ones. Too much is not even enough for him. He needs more, more security, more love and more care. Insecurity may lead him to depression and weaken him physically. However, Cancerians have this amazing quality of self-healing. All they require is happiness, optimism and laughter in large doses. They are prone to negative thoughts and are always preparing for the unseen future.

The maxim 'Old is Gold' fits perfectly to a Cancer, whether it is the case of people or things. He is also very good at making as well as managing wealth. He has a large heart and will share willingly if his loved ones are in need. However, wastage, especially of food, is sure to tick him off. All the sensitivity of a crab is hidden beneath his hard shell and it will take much care and love to bring him out of his shell and close to you!

• Compatibility

The first water sign of the zodiac astrology, Cancer imparts sensitivity to the individuals born in July. They are extremely emotional and deeply attached to their family. They are totally risk-averse and prefer to follow a wait-and-watch policy. When in love, they are very loving, caring and thoughtful. They expect the same from their partners and get very hurt in case of the opposite. A Cancerian is prone to extreme mood swings, which can range from being dreamy and wistful to sarcastic and bitter.

Those individuals who are patient and do not get disturbed by extreme emotions can have a great degree of compatibility with a Cancer. The Crab needs to be handled with care and the person who manages to do this gets all the love and kindness hidden behind that tough exterior shell. He has to be cared for and protected for. Harsh words make him retreat into a deep shell and then, he becomes almost impossible to communicate with. Just be there for a Cancerian all the time and he will move mountains for you. Read on to explore the horoscope compatibility of the astrological sign of Cancer.


• Relationships

- Cancer & Taurus: These two are reserved at first, and want to take their time getting to know each other while dating. They're both looking for a sure thing, and won't rush pell mell into romance. Taurus loves the sensual pleasures, not least of which is eating, and Cancer is all too eager to indulge along with them. After the first fifty lowkey dates, there may be subtle, indirect overtures of affection. Once the floodgates are open, these two are cozy lovers happy to root in one spot.

Taurus is looking for material security, Cancer for emotional security and visions of a shared future start to emerge, perhaps a dream home. Taurus is possessive, but Cancer doesn't mind, and might even secretly consider it a show of love. The steady, loyal nature of Taurus fulfills the Cancerian longing for something enduring. Both are fairly domestic, and happy to land somewhere and start accumulating things, kids and memories. The ritual of making and sharing meals together can be an important aspect of their relationship. They're compatible in the bedroom, as well, since they bring together the physical sensuality of Taurus with the emotional depth of Cancer. This is a match that may get off to a slow start, but stays together for the long haul.

Taurus and Cancer zodiac signs have many similar personality traits, which can great enhance the compatibility in their relationship. Both of them are sensitive individuals, who enjoy simple things in life and love to spend some cozy moments with each other in a calm and composed ambiance. The friendly nature, caring attitude and compassion of the Bull and the Crab coincide with each other. None of them prefers to run in the race of life, rather they want their own cozy nest where they can escape from the hubbub of others.

The practicality and gentleness of the Bull will be appreciated by the Crab and Taurus will deeply respect the latter's attachment to his family. Cancer will feel secure with the Bull and he, in turn, will bask in the care and concern that the Crab wills shower upon him. Apart from some minor differences, this love match will bring out the best in both the signs. The possessiveness Taurean will find the perfect mate in the Crab who always wants to be looked after and protected. Neither of them will venture anywhere alone, lest he loses the other.

- Taurus Man & Cancer Woman: Taurus man and Cancer woman are one those few people who were meant to be together. Her imagination will always interest him and he, in turn, will find newer ways of romancing her. Both the individuals are very emotional and will fulfill each other's needs in this aspect. He wants a warm, cuddly home and she will always be willing to provide him that. On the other hand, his protective attitude will always give her the security she most desperately needs. The Bull is as devoted as the Crab and except for a few hiccups, the sailing will be smooth.

Birth Chart : Katrina Johanson

Rising Sign is in 24 Degrees Gemini.
Extremely active by nature, you like to get around, meet people and do different things. Very restless, you just can't seem to stay put. You need to be involved in several projects at once in order to keep your mind stimulated. You like to read books and to write letters and to talk -- constantly. Seemingly ageless, you will always appear to be much younger than you really are. Very adaptable and inquisitive, you are always open to new ideas and experiences. A "jack-of-all-trades", you are lively and versatile. Because of the high nervous tension that you always seem to have, athletic activity would be a good way for you to burn off energy. But be careful of a tendency to experience things only superficially -- try to dig in and absorb things at a deeper level.

Sun is in 14 Degrees Cancer.
Very emotional and sensitive, you have an intuitive understanding of the "vibes" around you. You tend to be quite generous, giving, loving and caring, but only when your own needs for emotional support, love and security have been met. If they are not met, you tend to withdraw into yourself and become very insecure and selfish. Your home and family (especially your mother or the person who played that role for you early on) represent security for you and thus assume a larger-than-life importance. Very sentimental, you have vivid and long- enduring memories of the past. No matter how well adjusted you are, you will always need a secret quiet place of your own in order to feel at peace. Feeding others can give you great pleasure you would enjoy being part of a large family.

Moon is in 05 Degrees Libra.
Affectionate, warm and friendly, life must be a "beautiful" experience for you. Unpleasantness should be avoided at all costs. You tend to overlook other people's faults and you would rather give in than fight. You are uncomfortable with strangers, but at ease and sociable with friends and associates. Indeed, you would rather socialize than work -- you can use your prodigious charm to avoid unpleasant tasks. You need the support and assistance of another in order to get you started on any new project -- you are not a self-starter. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent (i.e., lazy). Your refined aesthetic sensibilities attract you to music, dance, art and any other cultured activity.

Mercury is in 10 Degrees Leo.
You are usually quite convinced that your own ideas are correct and you enjoy persuading others that they are. At times, you are very stubborn and proud of your beliefs and principles, and you get very defensive when they are challenged. You appreciate truth and honesty -- you practice it yourself and expect it in others. You have good talent for organizing, directing and planning. You delight in being asked for your advice and counsel.

Venus is in 20 Degrees Cancer.
You like to be very close to other people. You need emotional support yourself and are willing to give it to others. When you feel unloved and insecure, you can be very jealous and possessive. You are not interested in casual or superficial relationships -- only deep emotional involvements interest you. Your faithful devotion is one of your greatest gifts, but be careful not to become too dependent on others. Learn to stand on your own two feet and demand your own rights once in a while.

Mars is in 15 Degrees Taurus.
Careful, slow and thorough about all that you do, at times you are also willful and stubborn when others try to alter your course. You are definitely not a quitter -- you will work long and hard to get what you want. Your possessions are very important to you. One of your continuing problems is that you tend to regard the significant people in your life much the same way as you do your possessions -- you become overly attached and much too jealous. You repress your anger when you get upset and that is not healthy. Try to learn to show your anger immediately in order to avoid painful explosions later.

Jupiter is in 10 Degrees Virgo.
You feel most expansive and at ease with yourself when you are doing something that you consider to be practical or useful. You enjoy being dutiful and carrying out responsibilities. You gladly take on the little tasks that others seem to want to avoid. At times, you carry things to extremes and feel guilty anytime you do something that you consider to be self-indulgent. While it is appropriate for you to demand little for yourself in life, try to loosen up once in a while -- go out on a fling and enjoy yourself!

Saturn is in 17 Degrees Aquarius.
Your personal sense of values is a reflection of the value structures of your peer group and of those you respect and admire. Try to be more critical in your acceptance of these values -- you tend to prejudge the abilities of those you trust and then follow what they say blindly. Basically very conservative, you prefer orderly, systematic changes and fear doing things rashly or impulsively. Ideas and philosophies must have some sort of immediately realizable, utilitarian function in order for you to pay any attention to them.

Uranus is in 16 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your peer group as well, seek out practical solutions to a changing society's attitudes to customs, traditions and authority structures. Your logical and orderly manner of dealing with these matters will result in permanent and carefully planned, but sweeping, reforms.

Neptune is in 17 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.

Pluto is in 20 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.

N. Node is in 00 Degrees Capricorn.
You rarely get involved closely with anyone unless he or she has something specific and practical to offer you. You tend to be "all business" when it comes to dealing with others. You're usually so intently focused on a particular goal that you rarely have time for social niceties or casual fellowship. But you can definitely be counted on by others to get things done. When you say that you'll do something, you do it. As such, you're a valuable member of any team situation and will probably rise to a position of leadership within the group. Your trustworthiness and sense of responsibility are unquestioned. But do try to avoid the temptation to "use" others to reach your goals -- they might come to resent you.

Story : Epitaph

Title: Epitaph
Author: Edward (Me, though the character portrayed here with the same name is not myself.)
Type: Story, Romance.
POV: First person (Edward).
OCs: Edward, Katrina.
Status: On-going...

My Epitaph

"I'm so sick and tired...
I've got no will to go on, but somehow I keep going.."

Limping through the snow-covered back streets of a great city that I used to rule, I couldn't bare to step any further. It's not like I had someplace to go. So I laid down under one of my final possessions; the blanket too, was soon covered in snow. I figured I would soon be covered under a blanket of white; sleep, then fade into a peaceful death... My only hope was that it would come soon.

As I lie there, I could only wonder how I had gotten so low. I used to have it all; a nice home, a family, servants, the love of my life.. All because of her, I had lost everything I'd had. Then she too.. moved on, I suppose. I wouldn't know, she's far gone by now; whisked away by some nobleman on a ship. I felt just awful, I was no longer a noble myself, since my father knew I was in love with her.. a common woman. Then when trying to marry me off to another noble didn't work, I was sentenced to banishment; for my uselessness alone.

The duke's own son, who would have ruled over this city.. reduced to this. I know why, though.. He hadn't cared for me since I was born. No one had. I caused my mother's death afterall. That, among other things. No one wants to deal with me; I'm no leader...

Like a fool I followed my heart and ended up risking everything for her; then when I finally came back for her, it was too late. Father would never forgive me either. Somehow, some way, no matter what I do, women always seem to make trouble for me.

In my heart it was worth it; but in my mind, I was the one who had lost.

"Katrina.. I hope you're out there somewhere, and you're happy."

I wasn't bitter, I forced myself to accept this. Sure, I felt like a fool lying in the streets.. but by this time I'd gotten used to it. My life was over, as I saw it. I couldn't fend for myself, I was too weak to do any work like a commoner would have been able to; especially at this point.

Nobility, it's useless.. or rather, it can render one so.

Yet.. I was so much happier then;
being taken care of, without a care in the world.
Now.. I'm not prepared to suffer for it.

I couldn't remember how much time had passed, but I was utterly certain it was time to face the music and meet my final end.

Just then, I heard a voice from far away...
It must have been the voice of an angel coming to take me, I thought..

"Ed.. !!-ward..!!"

Such a faint, distant echo... I smiled, keeping my eyes closed.
Maybe I'll finally be at peace now.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps. The shouting grew louder.

"Edward!!!"

My eyes flew open in unison.

"Edward! What are you doing here?! Get up!
That's no place for you to be sleeping, you idiot..!"

That was no angel... I turned my head.
It was Katrina.

"Katrina..?", I murmured, half awake.
I felt groggy and stiff from the cold.

"I said get up!", she squatted and pulled me up by my arm.

The feeling of her strong arms melted the numbness in mine.
Seeing her here was confusing, but nonetheless a life saver.

"I heard what your father did. Those damn brats. They gave you trouble, didn't they?", she asked, referring to the local street gang.

They hated the nobility and specifically me.
My father was the one who caused their parents to lose their jobs afterall.

"They did, but that was some time ago.. Where were you?", I paused, trying to remember, "I heard you'd left. I saw you at the docks and.."

"You saw me? Then why didn't you come ask me for help??", she seemed mad, but I could tell she was only very concerned.

"What? Did you just decide to give up after your father dumped you on the streets?!", The tears showed through her speech rather than her eyes. I realized I didn't have to explain anything that I'd gone through now, that she didn't already assume out of worry..

I had just gotten back on my feet and she already began assessing my situation. She always acted like this when I was in trouble.. as if she could undo what happened or stop who did this to me; though, someone who didn't know her would think she was only scolding me.

I noticed a few people stop and stare at us in the streets.
I paused out of the discomfort, as well to think things through.

"...Bruce.", was the first image I could recall. Though, to my disgust..

He and his friends were homeless too and so they always bothered me when I was out. That tall boy who always seemed smug when he wasn't getting angry for some reason. He always competed for Katrina's love, and was jealous of my heritage.

"He told me that you were getting married.", I said, remembering back to the time when he had lead me to the docks, "Then he showed me. You were with some nobleman at the docks.. heading away somewhere on a ship. I didn't want to.."

"Interfere? Well then maybe you shouldn't have assumed! I wasn't with that man! He was a client for my father!!", she shouted.

"When I see that Bruce guy, he is gonna pay for this!", she looked around as if searching for him.

"...So you're not getting married?", I asked quietly.

She paused a moment and then turned her head slowly.

"Of course not. Not unless you're about to propose..", she smiled, tilting her head and lightening her anger into sarcasm. She could tell that yelling wasn't going to help at all at this point. Katrina seemed to calm gradually as we stood there for a few moments, not sure what to do.

Then I stepped towards her, smiling, and we held hands in the snow. Both realizing that, for the first time, aside from what had already happened.. we were together again. The blanket dropped from my back, though it was nearly frozen against it before. I wasn't cold anymore either.

"Let's get you back inside where it's warm, okay? I don't want you catching a cold.", she said as she lead me by the hand.

The rest of the way she was too embarrassed to look back at me;
but I could tell she was smiling all the way.

Her Home is Where my Heart is

Though I felt like looking down at the ground as usual, for my deficiency;
I couldn't take my eyes off of her.
Even the back of her head was a relief; a familiar reminder of one of my few happy memories.
As she continued leading me to her house, the feeling that a fiery soul with boundless will had saved me, when mine was gone; it was enough to help me forget that which I had faced these past several months. It was a long way there, but we didn't need words to show how much we cared. Her warm brown hair and red dress had set my heart aflame, just like when I first saw her.

When we got in front she ran up the steps as fast as she could and unlocked the door while I waited. Even then, just the creak of the rickety door hinge made me feel at ease. When I entered, the sound of the fireplace crackling and the distant warmth of it's embers were even more of a relief. When we were both inside she turned to me, and without saying a word, started undoing my scarf's knot and unbuttoning my coat. She was looking down, smiling calmly and taking her time. I watched her nervously, even though we'd known eachother all of this time.. it felt like we were a couple, and that we could finally be together for real. Somehow, I knew.. that all of this trouble had been worth it.
She went to put my things up by the fire, and as hard as I tried, I wouldn't have been able to wipe the smile off of my face.

"Are you hungry or anything?", she called from across the room, attempting to busy herself from being embarrassed by our sentiments.

"Yes..", and for the first time I looked down, for some reason other than feeling worthless. I felt at peace, I felt fine.. I walked into the den to be near her.

"Can I sit here?", I asked, pointing to an armchair.

She nodded as she walked off towards the kitchen, "Of course. You just sit there and I'll get dinner started, okay?"

"But.. I promise I'll do things around the house, or um, isn't there-

She shook her head, "It's fine. After what you've been through you shouldn't worry right now.", she assured me, "Just sit down and we'll discuss it later, when you're feeling better."

I nodded, took a seat.. and then... I must have dozed off.

I had a dream, of when we first met. Well.. actually, when I first saw her.

I would have never had the guts to approach her myself. I couldn't hear a sound or see any color, but I could see those kids from before.. taunting me from the streets. I knew I wasn't allowed to leave back then, but the house only held resentment for me from my father.
My care taker, I knew she loved my father.. but wasn't able to replace mother, I saw her sad eyes in my sleep. Rachel could never marry the duke because she was only a servant. It made me realize how my father's loneliness had hurt us all.

When my father and Rachel had faded from my memory, then I saw...
the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on.

It was a nice day in Autumn, which now.. the season always cheers me up;
Autumn has a nostalgic place in my heart.
It has a certain feeling to it that I can't describe, yet I can't ever replace. Even the clear skies of summer or the flowers of spring, cannot change the emotions I feel in the Autumn. She was picking apples in her father's orchard, placing them into her apron.. Somehow I'd gotten away from the street urchins, and though she was a commoner, I had never seen a more beautiful woman.

From then on, I saw the days..

The days went by as I was watching her, waiting for something.
Oh, I don't know.. that she would want to meet me; but I knew it would only cause trouble, as a noble would never be permitted to share a commoner's love.

Then one day I did the most foolish, yet best thing I had ever done...
I felt the need to be close to her, so I made up a valentine for her as well.
Then I went to deliver it. I knew she would see it if I could place it in the orchard where she worked. If it was in the mailbox, her father might have found it first..

So that morning I climbed over the fence and found a spot to wedge it, underneath the barrel where she would put the apples in. Then I heard the door open, and I quickly jumped and hid inside the barrel. There was no faster, nor easier way I could hide.
I heard her coming and peered through a hole where the cork would have been.. She'd found my valentine and had started reading it. I anticipated something.. such as a sigh, or laughter.. or the sound of her leaving. Anything... I sat anxiously as I felt it getting warmer and warmer inside of the barrel. Suddenly, the barrel began to tilt, I felt myself fall forward.
Katrina had been leaning her elbow on the front end of the barrel. Unfortunately, I wasn't heavy enough to pull it back.. and toppled out.

That day I was so warm, I was certain I'd been some shade of red...
She laughed at me, and probably knew it was me who had sent the valentine. Though, rather than being rude or disgruntled, she seemed to be awfully amused. I looked hopeful, but embarrassed. We talked for awhile, but I knew I would have to go eventually. That was the last I saw of her, though we felt so close.. Weeks after that, the street gang leader Bruce told me that Katrina was getting married and leaving;
though it seems that was a lie.

By the end of my dream, when each memory had faded..
Katrina still remained.

She remained in my vision until she blurred into a crimson flame, which lingered in the distance.

Her smile.

She will always remain there, I thought.


As the days went by, I spent time recovering and Katrina went on with her usual life.

One day she told me, "It's a lot easier not having to worry about you all the time.";

yet I knew she really meant, "It's more pleasant having you around.".

That was her way of going about things. Though she admitted there were even times when she was mad at me, out of said frustration.. Still, she hadn't known what befell me all of that time.

Not having much to do one day, Katrina brought me a quil pen, ink and papers. She knew I was good at writing. Perhaps she thought I could turn it into a career or a hobby. Being taken care of again, it reminded me of my childhood...

Growing up, my father had neglected me most often. While I'm glad he had servants to tend to me, there was no affection to it most of the time. We had the most beautiful house, I loved the look of that place, down to the very last frill and gold lining.. but I know I couldn't live there anymore, even if I wanted to; that, and the bad memories which were associated with it. The few fond memories were when I was able to rest, or when I was being tutored and when my cousins would come to visit; they were easily the only friends I could have made back then. I was too sick to attend school, and so I looked up to my personal tutor Johan. He was a very nice man but he was foreign and father disliked him.. I never knew if he pronounced his name wrong on purpose or not.

On Sundays I would go to the choir at the church, St. Lumina; with my cousins, and then be taken to spend the rest of the afternoon at their house. I remember playing in their garden. It was maze-like and magical.. well, at least at that age it was. I'm still fond of flowers and architecture though, so it would probably be even better to see it now that it's reminiscent.

You are my Everything

One morning at breakfast I asked, as I was talking about my cousins, "I wonder if I ever returned there someday, if they are all grown up with children by now..?"

"Would I be able to come too, or are commoners forbidden on the noble side, even in that city?", Katrina asked.

I shrugged, "I was only there a few times, I don't know.. I would take you with me anyway. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.. they're not as cold-hearted as most nobles are these days."

"You shouldn't be too sure.. people can change you know.", she warned me, pointing with a spoon.

I sighed, "That's the last thing I need. My past is full of people I can no longer associate with.."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "Hey, don't worry. I know being a commoner is not as fun and all that.. but at least you can trust me. Right? I'd never abandon you."

"I've still got that..", I smirked, turning my eyes away. I knew she cared too much to turn me away, so to lighten the mood I figured I would bother her a bit..

"What's that for?", she asked, stern at first.

"What's what for?", I replied, nonchalantly flipping an upward palm.

"That look! What's that look for?", now she was a bit aggravated.

"..Nothing."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positively..", I smiled a little.

"Come on... you should be more grateful!"

"Well.. you are the reason I had to leave my father's place."

"What?? No way! How did I do that?", Katrina slammed the kitchen table, more in disbelief than anger.

"..I had to break off a marriage just for you.", I smiled sheepishly. She could tell I didn't care.

"An arranged marriage? Well, you didn't like her, now did you?", she sat back down, eying me.

"Of course not."

"Then...?", she was getting impatient..

"It's okay, I guess. Besides, father was never right..
Now I'm just worried who will rule Remoriah when he's gone."

"You shouldn't worry, it gives you wrinkles.", she said, turning her head and flipping her wrist. She seemed somewhat annoyed.

"What??", my frown was flipped in an instant.

She put her hands up playfully, "Ahaha! It's nothing~ It's just something my dad used to say when I was a kid! I know how you are about your appearance..", she grinned.

"...", I sighed, "So did you want to come along or not?"

"You're really going to see your cousins?"

"Yes, why not? I'm in a time of need.. and I'm sure they're all well to do."

"I hope so. Maybe you should go alone though, just in case.."

"You... want me to go alone?", I asked, as if pleading not to.

"Well, no! But-"

"What if Bruce finds me...?", I pouted, feigning concern. Honestly, it sounded like more of a trick.

"You chicken..! Y-you're kidding, right?"

I closed my eyes and straightened my expression.

"Hm. I don't like chickens... In fact, I really hate them. I had to chase too many of them. It's lousy being poor like them, no wonder those kids are so unhappy.", I started mumbling.

"So.. is that why you get sick when I fry eggs?"

"I guess so..", I said with false thoughtfulness.

"Oh, open your eyes! You're still like a little boy, do you know that?", I could tell by her voice she was still smiling..

Somehow I knew just the right amount of nuisance to make of myself, so as not to really offend her. So I sat silently, waiting for her to make a decision. Afterall, I knew what it would be..

"Listen, I'm grabbing my jacket. You can leave the plates for now, I'll deal with it when I get back. Come on, let's go see them."

"This early?", I asked, opening up one eye.

"Why not? Aren't they up?"

"I don't know.. we'll see. Though I thought I should send a letter first."

"How polite.. Is that what all nobles do before they visit?", Katrina muttered, walking into the den to get her jacket.

"No, it's just been so long. I wonder if they'll even remember me.", I said, more to myself than into the den where she'd have heard me better.

Needless to say, a few moments later I stood up and went along with her. Katrina put on her hood and jacket and I my coat and scarf; we called on a passing coach and she didn't even mind paying for the ride. Though it was a bit pricey going all the way to the next city.. she sat contently, all the way.

"So... your cousins, what are they like?", she asked.

"Um, they're sisters. April, May and June.."

"Hm, is that some sort of pun?"

"No, they're just.. well, maybe it is. They are triplets. I don't know their parents that well. Still, it shouldn't be a problem. I just hope they didn't move."

"Nobles with a nice house like that, well.. as nice as you say it is; I don't think they move away unless they get married. Even so, I've seen a lot of them bringing up their kids at their manors. You know.. for the family heritage."

There was a short pause as the coach bumped over a small rock or something. After coming down from the jump, I thought to ask her.. about becoming noble. If my family's relatives would allow me to live amongst them again, would she too enjoy that kind of lifestyle? Would she prefer to stay with her father? I was almost afraid to ask..

"Katrina.."

"What?"

"Um, would you ever...", then I thought.. given her previous statements about nobility, that I should change subjects.

"Ah, nevermind. Look..! We've almost arrived."

"Hey, wait! What were you saying?"

"It's not important right now.. Let's go, shall we?", I gestured her towards the door.

We exited the coach and I found myself in the once familiar city.. Katrina probably had never seen the place, by the way she gawked around. I laughed quietly as she hunched her shoulders like a stray animal adapting to a new home.

She turned and shoved my shoulder lightly, "Knock it off Edward. What's so funny?"

"Hm, now you seem an awful lot like a sister to me..", I said, still smiling.

We continued walking as I lead the way. Though it felt like more of a stroll.

"What? Don't give me that.. Is that how you feel?"

"Not really. Just how you reacted. It's nothing personal!"

"So much for an honest relationship, I don't remember you being so silly back when we first met.. So now, why are you acting so strange?", she asked. Neither one of us seemed serious at this point.

"It's honest..", I muttered, "I don't know why, you make me feel like teasing you sometimes."

"Oh, so now it's something I'm doing?", she asked, but I could tell from her voice she was smiling again. She was glad that I was able to make a joke or two, even at the expense of my gratitude; it showed what a good mood I was in at least, plus she knew I was only kidding.

"You've got a bad temper.", I smirked, "Nothing like me~", I beamed.

"Ooh, do you wanna see a bad temper??", she laughed, tugging my arm so that I was pulled closely. She wrapped her arms around me tightly so that I couldn't move.

"Now where do you think you're going, huh? That's not the right way! Here, let your big sister show you which direction to go!", she made her voice sound as ridiculous as she was acting, tugging me around in her arms.

I couldn't help but laugh, but it felt fine because it wasn't as rough as it looked. Though.. more people in town stared and some almost stepped in to stop one of us, until they realized we were laughing. I actually felt, that even though we were in love, that she had made up for my lack of family. She was as fun to be with as a sibling, as nurturing and soothing as a mother and as strong and wily as a father; and... I would have let her hold onto me forever in that moment, if my legs hadn't gave out.

Then I was reminded of why I was always so gloomy and quiet, the fact that my body couldn't handle such high energy as when I was happy or loud for too long. Just as she let go of me for a moment, I lost control and my vision faded.

"Edward?!"

I heard her shout my name again, and so I thought, "I'm going to get used to hearing this...".

By the next morning, sunlight-bathed fields swayed in the wind, and blades of grass sifted through the sky. We stood behind the wooden fence watching airships go by. As I pointed to the airship I heard her voice; but it was muffled, so I turned to her. She was speaking clearly by the way she looked, but I couldn't understand a word of it..
She didn't notice my puzzled expression, so I tried to speak;

"....."

Nothing came out.

Then I realized something, Where are we?

She didn't seem to notice how strange it was, and smiled at me warmly.
I shook my head, looking around. Suddenly the blue sky, all of the clouds, the grass... it all vanished. We stood in total darkness.

What? No, what's.. what's happening?, I turned to her in fear and grabbed onto her shoulders. Even her face began to grow blurred in my vision.. so I stepped back in confusion.

Then I felt myself falling...

"Hey wake up! Stop that!! You're going to--"

*THUD*

"Wh-..", I opened my eyes and saw a white ceiling.
The sound of a ceiling fan revolving calmed me to my senses.

Katrina's worried face looked down at me from above, "Edward.. are you okay?"

"Huh? Where did the airships go?"

She smiled, as if she was holding back laughter, "...You idiot, you were dreaming. There's no airships at the hospital!", she paused for a moment, helping me up from the floor.

"Now, relax. You should rest a little more, the doctor said you fainted this morning when we came to the city. Something about overexertion because of excitement or something.."

"Oh..", I looked away in embarrassment.

"Well? Aren't you going to get in bed and stop standing around? I hope you don't have anymore weird dreams about airships, the way you were tossing and turning just scared the heck out of me!"

"Oh right!", I smiled nervously and then climbed back into bed.